Mary and Martha

Oh Richard, Richard, Richard.  We'd rather you were penning 'Blackadder 13' or animating the rubbery faces of Cameron et al in a revived 'Spitting Image'.  It's not that malaria isn't a worthy topic, or that we've anything against you, the BBC, Ms Blethyn, Ms Swank or the rest of the cast and crew, it's just... most dramas say something, or try to, but there's a difference between that and Telegraphing a Worthy Message by way of a frankly cliched and sentimental script.  We haven't spontaneously "bleughed" at a drama like this since - well, since 'Call the Midwife' probably, but before that we must have been in our early teens.

And on top of the nausea, there was the wholly unlikely scenario of 'nice, middle-class ladies' embarking on a sort of genteel version of Erin Brokovich's campaign to change things from the top, thanks to Swank's well-connected (James Woods!) dad.

So what are we ordinary mortals to do?  Follow the girls and throw it all up to parade with placards at Westminster?  Or follow them to Africa, adding to the general shortages but making ourselves feel better?  Maybe just re-allocate our dwindling pension pots to a medical charity?  Well, we will if Mr Curtis and co. will.  Yes?  No?

Statistics were thrown at us that are meant to shock: malaria kills more people a year than died in various wars combined etc.  Well here are more: malaria, along with tuberculosis and HIV/AIDS, receives more funding than the group of infections known as the Neglected Tropical Diseases, but the latter group affects as many people in developing countries as malaria.  Like malaria, many of them could be prevented and/or cured, and like malaria, they may not always kill but severely maim and injure the afflicted.  Cue Bill Gates and various other  charities who aim to eradicate/exterminate/generally end these horrors - hurrah!  And they're not making preachy dramas to make their point - double hurrah!

Vera

Cop procedural based on novels of Ann Cleeves.  Can’t speak for the novels, but the first episode of the tv version wasn't great.  An intriguing set-up yielded the laziest of denouements, based on the 'because he's mad’ motive.

In other episodes, viewers were treated to tired old chestnuts such as that of a trained policeman turning his back on a suspect to rescue a victim in a cellar, having been sent to a remote farmhouse on his own.  (The two viewers in the UK who have never seen a cop show may not have guessed what would happen, but they were probably doing something more interesting with their Sunday evenings anyway.)  The dialogue included such gems as, “Those who profit from violence aren’t above using it to their own advantage.”  Really?  Even a be-cardiganed Brenda Blethyn can’t make this a long-stayer, surely?

The final episode had just too many TWNHs to list, straining our credulity to the point of no return right from the pre-credit rescue of the drowning boy, who is the only witness to a brutal murder....  Stop us if you think you've heard this one before.  The dialogue was yet again aimed at those unfamiliar with the notion of cop shows, or perhaps both cops and shows:


"He says he's the boy's father." (I paraphrase here)
"He could be lying."
"Why would he lie?  Anyway, the DNA test will tell us."


Would two police officers, both in on the interview with the suspect and familiar with DNA swabbing, have this conversation?  Presumably the suspect might just also be aware that saying he's the father would mean a paternity test?


Even if we could forgive all of the above and replace the 'gritty' Tyneside setting with, say, Neverland, we can't bring ourselves to forgive Brenda's shouting at everyone every five minutes.  If she wants to be Boyd from 'Waking the Dead' she's missed the boat.  If real cops yell like tv cops all the time, there must be a high rate of deafness among the ranks.